Failed presidential candidate Kamala Harris took the stage in Australia on Sunday at the 2025 Australian Real Estate Conference, a high-dollar event with two-day passes costing between $995 and $1695, where she served up word salads and cackled about Playboy magazine.

Harris sat with real estate veteran John McGrath for over an hour, and things got weird fast.

The California Democrat shared a story about her mother, who, apparently, has some strong opinions on women’s reproductive health, and somehow tied it to the covers of Playboy magazine.

"My mother was actually very funny because she would say, ‘You look at the cover of Playboy magazine, let me just tell you, the reason that people are looking at these things, understand what they were developed for, the perpetuation of the human species!'" Harris said, laughing as the audience sat in stunned silence. "She was very practical that way."

McGrath, clearly eager to move on, called Harris' mother "a great lady” and shifted gears, clearly eager to escape that awkward moment.

Things didn’t get any less awkward when Harris was asked about humility.

She launched into a rambling response, rejecting the idea of aspiring to be humble while simultaneously calling it essential, and then veering into a vague ode to the human spirit.

"I don’t aspire to be humble. And I don’t recommend it, I think that one must be humble. But to aspire to be humble would be quite inauthentic,” she said, before adding, "If one understands that, just, I mean, there’s so much that is magnificent and awe-inspiring about this world and its people. And when you take the moment to just listen to an individual’s story, whether it’s someone you’re sitting next to on the plane or standing in line with at the grocery store, there is so much about this world that we know and we don’t know. And that is very humbling to realize the dreams that people have, the struggles that they’ve overcome and the magnificence of that. To realize the beauty of the human spirit, that we are by nature, I think, as a species, we don’t give up."

Harris didn’t stop there.

She then pivoted to discussing the importance of ambition, but with a caveat about hard work and context—classic Harris, saying everything and nothing at once.

"Part of the key to our survival is that we are adaptable but we are also ambitious. I applaud ambition. I applaud ambition. I think it is a good thing, to reach, but not without also understanding that in so doing, one must do the hard work. One must understand the context in which they exist. One must be respectful,” she said.

The former vice president also dusted off some of her greatest hits, rambling about being "unburdened by what has been" and the significance of the "passage of time," before circling back to her vision of equality and freedom.

"I think it’s very important to understand that people who fight for equality, fight for freedom, they see what can be and are unburdened by what has been they believe in what is possible," she said. "So even though it may be characterized as a fight, it really is it should I think be thought of in the context of a fight for something as opposed to against something."

The audience must have been dizzy by then.

She didn’t shy away from taking a jab at Elon Musk and the Trump administration either, slamming Musk’s alleged claim that empathy signals weakness in Western civilization.

"There was someone that is very popular these days, at least in the press, who suggested that it is a sign of the weakness of Western civilizations to have empathy. Imagine," Harris said. "No, it’s a sign of strength to have some level of curiosity and concern and care about the well-being of others."

Later, when McGrath optimistically suggested her best work was ahead, Harris cackled and quipped, "I am unemployed right now. Go on, let’s speak truth."

Cringe.

Sky News Australia anchors had a field day, mocking her appearance as "one giant joke" and had a field day joking about her lecture about being “unburdened on your real estate ventures by what you’re not burdened by or whatever."

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Finally, when asked to give advice to young women in real estate, Harris leaned on her go-to motto, defiantly stating, "I don’t hear no. I eat no for breakfast."

The exchange, captured on video by an attendee, quickly spread on social media, with Harris spotted earlier that weekend at the upscale Mosman’s Bather’s Pavilion restaurant in Sydney.

And there you have it, folks—Kamala Harris, serving up a fresh batch of nonsense Down Under, reminding us all why she’s currently unemployed, thanks to President Trump and the American people who saw through her act.

This is the kind of unhinged performance that makes you wonder how she ever got near the presidency.

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