In case you haven't heard, Jimmy Kimmel has been officially canceled– making him possibly the first high-profile figure to have been canceled by the right in a long, long time.

This came after some slanderous comments made by Kimmel during his Monday monologue about Charlie Kirk's tragic assassination. He falsely attributed blame for Kirk's death to the MAGA movement, despite all available evidence pointing to left-wing ideology.

Thankfully, ABC quickly announced that The Tonight Show will be taken off the air 'indefinitely' due to Kimmel's insensitive comments and failure to operate in the public interest. A bunch of left-wing crybabies immediately took to the internet to whine about 'cancel culture,' as if they haven't been the primary perpetrators of it for my entire life!

While many of us don't really get our entertainment from cable TV anymore (I don't know the last time I watched Jimmy Kimmel), I can think of one replacement for Kimmel that would get young people to tune into ABC news every night...

That man is Theodor Capitani von Kurnatowski III, otherwise known as Theo Von. And I'm not the only one who thinks this– the whole internet seems to agree.

Here are five reasons why I think that Theo Von would boost ABC's ratings to levels they've never seen before:

1. He's Actually Funny

Has anyone ever clipped a hilarious moment from Jimmy Kimmel? I don't mean from one of his guests, from from Jimmy himself? I know I haven't ever heard him say anything funny.

On the contrary, Theo is funny without even trying. Just watch this compilation below:

2. He Has a Heart

Unlike Jimmy Kimmel's heartless move to attempt to turn Charlie Kirk's death into a joke by blaming it on his most loyal supporters, Theo took to X to share a heartfelt reflection about Charlie's tragic passing, and the legacy he left behind. Despite never having met Charlie, Theo was able to admire his bravery and ability to "tweet with his feet" by going out into the world to have real-life conversations.

Additionally, Theo has expressed his sympathies for the innocent people in Gaza who are experiencing suffering, hunger, and death. Unlike most high-profile figures, Theo is able to see the other's humanity regardless of partisan lines.

3. He'll Talk to Anyone

Unlike Jimmy Kimmel, who just brings on uninteresting B-list celebrities and burnouts, Theo is willing to sit down and have a great conversation with anyone. Just recently, he had 'young Amish male' on his show, with previously featured characters like 'a mall cop,' and 'retired Las Vegas Police Sgt.'

Lets be honest, the conversation with a young amish man who's never had a phone was infinitely more funny and interesting than anything one of Jimmy Kimmel's vapid, washed up celebrities has to offer.

4. He will unify the country

While Theo Von isn't scared to talk about political issues, he also is one of the few high-profile voices to have the humility to recognize problems while still admitting that he just doesn't have all the answers.

He has spoken with Republican politicians like Thomas Massie, JD Vance and President Trump, as well as brought on far-left figures like Hasan Piker and Bernie Sanders. Throughout all these conversations, Theo was able to find points of agreement with everyone while still being his most authentic self.

Are there right and wrong answers to everything? Yes– but we don't need every late night show to be hosted by a millennial libtard or a MAGAslop shill.

While Jimmy Kimmel invested his time into spreading anti-Trump propaganda to boost his ratings, Theo is more interested in being actually entertaining and having interesting conversations. When he chooses to speak on political topics, the focus seems to be on issues that most Americans can see a problem with, such as the Epstein coverup, corrupt lobbying groups, and issues with the American healthcare system.

Theo's non-divisive nature coupled with his ability to call out evil where he sees it without claiming to know all the answers is what America needs right now from our entertainers.

5. Zoomers will watch TV again

Younger generations have abandoned cable TV for streaming services, with a 35% decrease in households subscribed to cable TV since 2010. Now, only one third of young adults still watch 'traditional' TV.

If ABC wanted to give their show a wide appeal that would actually draw in more younger viewers, rather than celebrity-obsessed divorcee wine moms, they might want to bring on someone that people actually care to listen to, like Theo Von.

If ABC wants to bring on a replacement for Kimmel who won't slander half of the country every time he gets, and will actually bring on interesting guests and be entertaining, Theo Von is the way to go.

Turn The Tonight Show into This Past Weekend, and late-night TV might just find the revival it desperately needs.