North Korea’s shadowy dictator, Kim Jong Un, is so paranoid about his DNA falling into the wrong hands that he’s lugging a private toilet across borders like it’s his most prized possession.

This isn’t just a bathroom break — it’s a glimpse into the mind of a tyrant obsessed with control.

Kim Jong Un rolled into Beijing on Tuesday aboard his green armored train, equipped with a custom-built toilet to shield his genetic material and health secrets, according to Japanese and South Korean intelligence sources.

The trip coincided with China’s largest-ever military parade, marking the 80th anniversary of World War II’s end.

"The physical condition of the supreme leader has a major impact on the North Korean regime," a South Korean intelligence official told Nikkei Asia. "North Korea makes a particular effort to seal off anything related to that, such as hair and excrement."

This isn’t Kim’s first foray into fecal fortification. The rotund ruler of a rogue regime deployed the same tactic at the 2018 North-South summit, the 2019 Hanoi meeting with the United States, and the 2022 Singapore summit.

His paranoia extends beyond the privy.

Kremlin reporter Alexander Yunashev captured footage of Kim’s aides sanitizing a room after a two-and-a-half-hour meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

"They took away the glass from which he drank, wiped the upholstery of the chair and those parts of the furniture that the Korean leader touched," Yunashev reported, exposing the depths of Pyongyang’s obsessive secrecy.

Kim’s health is a global lightning rod, as any hint of weakness could destabilize his iron-fisted regime.

His staff’s meticulous cleanup — wiping surfaces and whisking away drinking glasses — reveals a leader haunted by the specter of vulnerability.

The New York Post and other outlets, including The Times of India, confirmed these extraordinary measures, underscoring the lengths to which North Korea goes to cloak its leader in mystery.

Kim’s mobile throne and his aides’ frantic cleaning spree paint a picture of a regime teetering on the edge of paranoia, terrified that a single hair or sip could unravel its grip on power.

One can’t help but wonder if this cloistered king will ever flush away his fears — or if he’ll keep scrubbing his secrets, hoping the world won’t notice the stench.